Cell Phone Stereotypes

If the ostriches can't be here
by 3:00, we can't use them. Ok bye. Dude, what happened to you? Motorcycle wreck? Oh, oh, cracked my
phone over the weekend. Oh. Yeah, still got
to use it though. [MUSIC PLAYING] It's really not as
bad as it looks. You can still hold it. You can touch it. But definitely don't swipe it. Eight's the seven,
the six is the five. Every other button's the same. Congratulations. You've just won a free cruise. Well, gee whiz. Let's board the boat. Hi, I'm Jennifer calling about
your car's extended warranty.

Well, good golly. Let's extend it. No. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna do it, OK? Yeah! [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Whoo. Whoa. No. Oh, no. Oh what are the chances? Oh, please tell me it
didn't crack the front? No. I like funny things. Oh, sorry man. You had to be here. I am here. I already scrolled it. It's into the abyss now. You can't just go back. Gone forever, dude. I cannot believe
that just– no way. What was it? Huh, oh dude. Sorry. I don't even know
where I put it. Can you call it please? We're calling it. Don't all call it at once. Ty look underneath. Are we good? It's not under there, but it is
remarkable what is under there. Oh, it's on silent. Guys, going to take
your shoes off you're going to feel the vibration.

Oh, I found it. Yes. Bang. Ah, N64 Rumble Pack. It has the same vibration
patterns though. I'll meet you in the car dude. We only gave it an hour. [TEXTING SOUNDS] Dude. What? Oh man, I cannot thank you
enough for recommending that hemorrhoid cream. Has helped out tremendously. My sister has 15
warts on her hand. We're trying to figure out
how to get rid of those. Floor two, please. Dude, another crazy
thing I found out– are you listening to my
phone call right now? You know that's illegal. Dang it. Hey, man. What's up? Hey. Wait, are you in the
bathroom right now? What? Yeah, no. Definitely not. That'd be– Hey is that water running? Yeah. Left the office
early to go fish. Can you send me a
picture of the fish? No. No. No. FaceTime? Hey, big dog. What's good, good looking? What do you need? Oh, I just wanted
to see your face. I'm organizing my undies. My phone is at 1%. If I lose you any time– oh. Hey, don't you do that brother. Don't you– hey, real quick. Got to let the dog out.

Don't move a muscle. Be right back. You called me by the way. Dude this is like his
fifth time calling today. Are you underwater? That's actually
kind of impressive. I know you can't hear me,
but never call me again. Oh bag of diapers. 4:54 on a Saturday the 13th. I have some illegal dumping
activity happening right now. Hey. These gentlemen
are tresspassing! Whoa! [INTERPOSING VOICES] And we're live.

I am not dumping sir. I was filming them. This is a citizens arrest. This is a citizens arrest. [INTERPOSING VOICES] Looking for the best
coffee shop, boom. Right there. Hashtag, sponsored. Not really. I'm not sponsored yet. But put on a show and don't
even try to [INAUDIBLE].. They love me. They all love me. Yo, Gar. You good if I add you to
that paintball group text? I appreciate the invite, man. I think I'll pass. It's the paintball boys. Seventh grade, your birthday
party, we had so much fun. That was like 20 years ago. I got you added. You're in. See you Saturday. Sparky!! People on Facebook,
check it out. This is amazing. Hey, hey, hey. Calvin. Calvin. Check out this concert I
was at last year, dude. I paid top dollar
for these seats. Look at this. That sounds like a broken
washing machine, dude. Seven minutes left baby. Let's make something happen. No. No, market doesn't close
for another two hours. East coast, got plenty of time. Stay patient. You bring food? Yeah, I brought dip.

I bought the dip too. I just bought the dip. Which one did you get? He brought chips and dip. Oh got it. Oh, it's going down still. It's still going down. Oh it goes up. It goes up. Yes. Lunch on me. Time is money right now. OK? If I got invited to an
elementary school graduation, I would walk up on that
stage and I would say, ETFs, stocks, crypto,
all in one place. SoFi app. Mic drop. And I would walk off the stage. And that is the best piece
of advice I could give them. Please, respect the game. Yeah. No. [MUSIC PLAYING] I'm number one for the team. I'm number one for the team. We're in a conference. Yes, that's your phone.

What song is that? One for the team. No, I don't have your phone. It's your phone. It's right there. It was in your front pocket. This little knob right
here, silent mode. Let's live life that way, huh? Green bubbles? Who's got the Android? Jonah. I tried giving you an iPhone
and you still refused. Another vote for Jonah. Green is my least
favorite color. Jonah. One more vote and you will be
removed from the group thread. Jonah. We're back to blue bubbles boys. Who wants to rename the group? Spider-man 3. 10 minutes. Let's go. I accidentally called my uncle. Just one second. One second. Hey, did you mean to call? What kind of question is that? Of course I meant to call. I was worried you might
have accidentally called me or something. No, not you, Uncle Remus. You boys got to get back
down here to Georgia. This old catfish came up and
just scooped up the top water right off the top. You wouldn't believe
out of tall the trees have gotten since you
was here last time. I wouldn't? No.

But I don't know if you remember
that girl Katie Funchess, that you used to date
back in first grade? Tell you what– Ah. Hello. I don't have service
unless I'm by the road. Hang on. Can you hear me? I don't know, I
can't see it now. Well, I had to go back
up there and look. They've got a candle burning
at the firework stand. We're lighting these fireworks. We're going to test them. You've got to make
sure they work. We don't sell no cheap
ones around here, these are quality fireworks. Ow, ow. Dude! Can I talk to a manager? Hey, big dad. You want to talk to him? And I lost you. What seems to be
the problem sir? You. Not only will you
not buy a firework from my fireworks shop, you
ain't buying one in this county or nor this state.

You have the audacity to
show up on my property after what you've done
to my family and my life? Get out of here right now. Nope. Ah. You better get out of here. [INTERPOSING VOICES] That's mine. Oh come on. That's my granddaddy's
firework stand! He's had it since 1904. Oh no. No. Come on. Remember the koalas
arrive at 2:00. So– Bean sales,
through the roof. it's really. Can somebody please figure
out whose phone that is. Whoever's phone this
is, you're fired. Wait, guys. Sorry. It was actually me. The koalas are here. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh that is the worst drive
ever, so ugly and flat. Only thing worse is
Amarillo to Albuquerque. Good shot, dude. I would highly recommend
getting lessons. Honey, if you want to
take piano seriously, you got to get lessons.

Dude, will you please
upgrade your phone? Why? This one works just fine. What is that, the
original iPhone? Look how small this is. Looks like a pager. Is that the iPod app? If I want to listen to the Goo
Goo Dolls, I just click them. Hold on. It's loading. Sir, do you mind holding
that for a second? I'm having trouble seeing it.

Could you move
back a little bit? Right about there. That's great. Thank you. My son got a penguin. I just couldn't see the word. Oh wow. Congratulations. Just use my credit card. It's three– Whoa, whoa, whoa shh. Dude. They're listening. What are you talking about? Watch this. Yeah, thanks for
coming over, man. I've been meaning to get
into a new hobby these days. I've been thinking about
getting into soap carving. They listen to everything. Anyways, what was that
credit card number again? Oh, it's three six– What's new with you? Glad you asked. It's my granddaughters,
grandson, family on the beach. This was a cool story. This guy bought this
one at an auction. Brother-in-law who's Sheriff of
Ellis County being interviewed after the tornado. You have 12 pictures
of the ground? Yeah, that's kind
of the way I roll. Three, six– Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo Gar point ball– Dude, I can't do this. We had to call in a backup. Sometimes you need
somebody to drop a phone. And the poor man
just couldn't do it. Third person.

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